Don't Live By Comparison

When I became a parent I was given one piece of advice that I found particularly useful.

• Never compare your child to others.

As a first time parent it can be easy to question your own methods.

And by comparing your child to others, conclude you are getting it wrong.

But as we know, every child is different.

So I chose not to compare mine to others, particularly for significant milestones such as crawling, walking and potty training.

And I let my daughter proceed at her own pace.

The result was, she achieved all, in her own time, with relative ease.

The transitions were quite sudden, because she was ready.

I have maintained the same approach as she has grown up.

Opportunities are always there for her.

And of course there is time for counsel, guidance and correction.

But she has grown into an independent person who makes her own decisions and knows when to ask for help.

It occurred to me that the same piece of advice is relevant to our lives as adults.

We are all different.

And should not compare ourselves to others.

Whether to criticise our own progress.

Or justify our actions.

No one else has walked our path.

And no one can.

Our experiences, interpretations and actions are unique.

Our transitions occur when we alone are ready.

And to invite comparison imposes limitations.

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”

Zen Shin

Focus on the light, always,

This article was originally published on my newsletter on 1st March 2026.