Seeking Approval

I recently came across another quote from the stoic Epictetus that struck a chord with me.

"Never depend upon the admiration of others. There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source."

And while that may be true, it’s not always easy to live by.

We have all at some time sought validation from others.

But the gains are impermanent.

Even if we do benefit from a word of encouragement, if it’s not backed up by self belief, we begin to doubt the authenticity of the praise.

The same principle applies when we try to help others.

You may offer encouragement and counsel to someone for years.

But until they believe in themselves, or understand the detriment of the path they are on, they will not instigate change.

That doesn't mean we should stop trying to help others, quite the contrary.

Just know there are limitations to your efforts.

You are responsible for your actions.

They are responsible for theirs.

If you seek validation, seek it from yourself.

You are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

Replace doubt with an enquiring mind.

Be patient with yourself, and others, and never stop moving forward.

(This content was originally published on my newsletter 12th May 2025.)